So we finally did it..we fell for the hype..our interests were piqued and we took the plunge. We had a slight fascination with the whole ghost hunters niche so we thought that with all of the crap out there we could finally subject ourselves to the proclaimed "scariest movie ever made about paranormal shit"....
..so I decided to dedicate myself along with Jen and some good friends to an evening of fright and fear...and with a little help from the fine folks over at the Alamo,this would make for one fine Halloween evening.
There is much hype surrounding this movie...everyone seems to have an experience with the movie or atleast know of someone who has had the shit scared out of them and lots of lost sleep....grown men and women are claiming to reverting back to childhood days of hiding under blankets to avoid the guaranteed demon run-in....big,bad-ass meatheads are quivering in corners,crying for mommy,wanting the horror to end...I mean this is some serious shit and I was ready for it.
We decided about a week from Halloween that we wanted to have a mellow night out and to not ruin Halloween night with a hangover the size of Montana on Sunday...we just wanted to get together with a few friends,have some beers and eat bad food...so that's what we did.
It was a perfect early fall evening in good ol' Austin..the sky was purty and pure wonder was in the air...were we going to go see this movie and then be fucked for the next few days??..are we going to be able to walk through our own house at two in the
afternoon and not find the need to turn on every light in the house just in case the "paranormal" being in our house decides to black out the sun ?.. with it's demon wings and horned tail,fire breathed through it's nostrils....slayer playing in the background...we just weren't sure what to expect.....and to make it creepier,it was Halloween.
We arrived about 45-minutes early and found only a small line formed for the flick....most people were in line to see a Halloween viewing of the Phantom and the Opera...pretty cool if you ask my humble opinion....we settled in with a couple of cold ones and waited.
Friends began to arrive and by the time that we were all seated together we took up about a half-of-a-row in the theater. If you couldn't feel safe here,in a row of your friends,then this movie would prove to be some serious stuff....the cheesy pre-movie clips and buckets of beer began to flow and we settled in for the despair about to be witnessed on screen.
So here begins the experiment....In a mixed group of 60% female to 40% male ratio all participants were questioned with the following questions:
-Are you scared of this movie? are you scared of the hype surrounding it?
-Do you think that this movie will be a bit creepier because we are seeing it on Halloween?
-Will it be a better viewing experience seeing it at the Alamo because you are allowed to drink beer?
It was a simple series of questions...I tried to keep it straight to the point...I knew that I was dealing with a major fear factor here so I did not want to stress the participants any more.
The following pictures are of the participants pre-viewing experience:
The build up of the movie start thickened until you could just feel the uncertainty in the room...everyone emitted some sort of fear energy that we all fed off of....we were one in this voyage of darkness and torment.
Finally it started and blood pressures climbed.....
...it started innocently enough...I would have to agree with a lot of people who said that it's a "couples" movie...meaning a movie that couples can relate to I guess...it worked itself through it's introduction with little teasers of what to expect later in the movie....and the heavy sighs began throughout the theater...peoples way of preparing themselves for the big jolt.
This will be the quickest review of a movie ever...
...things that freaked me out? light switches being turned on in the middle of the night,a swinging chandelier and the girlfriend getting dragged out of the bed while she was sleeping.....yea,a bit freaky.
Also the girlfriends scream deserves an Oscar...she had that death shreek down to a perfect song of despair...a true death howl.
What ruined the movie for me?...
well,maybe the ouija board scene..how come the rest of the house didn't catch on fire?....and then the little lizard foot marks that they find in the "powder" scene...I mean,really??? a little valaptosaurus demon sneeking into their room?? I was just wondering where the little tail trail of powder was...kind of dissappointing....
...speaking of dissappointing...we don't get to see the large breasted girlfriend flash the flesh..sorry guys.
So the movie comes to an end...we all just sat there and kind of looked at eachother...the looks of disgust and the feeling of unfulfillment ran across our faces...we felt betrayed.
The results were in after some difficult debate...
-The movie pretty much sucked..it was not at all what I expected or hoped for....it fell
waaay short.
-Seeing it on Halloween did add to the experience..it gave the evening a fun aspect that I think everyone enjoyed.
-The beers made the pain slip away...we went through some serious buckets of cold,tasty bevvies....it was nice...it made the movie fly by.
-We had a great turn out of great people.
Thumbs up or down???
THUMBS DOWN.
